ICF Coaching With Clients on a PIP: Holding Boundaries, Building Trust, and Supporting Self-Leadership

Coaching someone on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) can feel like walking a tightrope—especially when the employer is also involved in the coaching relationship.

On one hand, you’re supporting an individual who may be navigating fear, shame, or burnout. On the other, you’re in conversation—directly or indirectly—with an organization that may be positioning coaching as a last-ditch effort to “fix” a performance issue. It’s a triangulated space that requires deep integrity, emotional attunement, and crystal-clear boundaries.

Whether you're an experienced coach or stepping into employer-sponsored work for the first time, this post will help you explore how to coach powerfully and ethically in these complex scenarios.

When Coaching Becomes Crisis Support

Let’s begin with what your client might be experiencing. Being placed on a PIP is rarely neutral—it often triggers a cascade of emotional and physiological responses: panic, shame, self-doubt, hyper-vigilance, people-pleasing, shutdown.

In other words, their nervous system is likely in survival mode. And when we’re in survival mode, our access to learning, creativity, and authentic communication becomes limited. Everything begins to feel like a threat.

If we’re not attuned to this, we may find ourselves coaching the surface behaviors—trying to “fix” what the organization says is broken—instead of coaching the human underneath the performance issue.

This is the moment to slow down and meet the client with presence. Rather than jumping into goals or metrics, I focus first on regulation, grounding, and trust-building.

Some of the questions I return to often:

• What do you need right now to feel safe enough to explore this?

• What’s the story you’re telling yourself about what this PIP means?

• What part of you do you want to lead from in this process?

• If you weren’t afraid of losing the job, what would you do differently?

When we make space for self-awareness and emotional honesty, we open the door to transformation—not just compliance.

Helping the Client Reclaim Their Power

As a coach, I often use the Drama Triangle (Victim–Persecutor–Rescuer) as a tool to illuminate the roles people unconsciously fall into when under pressure. Someone on a PIP might feel like a Victim of office politics or an untrustworthy manager. They may try to overcompensate (Rescuer) or beat themselves up for past choices (internalized Persecutor).

Our role is not to judge or diagnose these patterns, but to gently surface them and offer a path forward. The empowered roles—the ones that invite agency—are:

• Creator (instead of Victim): What do I want to create here?

• Challenger (instead of Persecutor): What truth needs to be named?

• Coach (instead of Rescuer): What support or insight is needed right now?

By helping the client move into these empowered roles, we’re not just helping them keep a job. We’re helping them remember who they are, even in a system that may have temporarily forgotten.

Coaching in the Middle of a Triangle: The Employer Dynamic

This is often the most complex aspect of employer-sponsored coaching engagements.

When the employer is part of the coaching contract, the dynamic shifts. You, the coach, are technically being paid by one party, but serving another. You’re now in a triangulated relationship. If left unexamined, this dynamic can create confusion, resentment, or even a breakdown in trust.

To hold this well, boundaries must be explicitly named from the start.

Here’s how I approach it:

1. Clarify Roles Early

Before coaching begins, I meet with the employer (usually HR or the direct manager) to clarify what coaching is and isn’t. I explain that my focus is on the coachee’s development, not behavior monitoring. I clarify that I will not be providing updates or “progress reports” unless the coachee agrees to share something directly.

I also take time to vet the organization—are they invested in this person’s growth, or are they outsourcing a firing process? If the energy is about checking a box, I don't take the engagement.

2. Establish Clear Confidentiality Agreements

I let both the coachee and the employer know that I will confirm coaching dates and hours (if needed), but all session content remains confidential unless the coachee gives explicit consent. This includes even vague summaries.

With the client, I say clearly: “This is your space. Nothing we talk about will be shared with your employer unless you want it to be—and if that ever happens, we’ll agree on the language together.”

This conversation alone can bring a profound sense of relief.

3. Hold the Line During the Engagement

Sometimes, employers will “check in” mid-way through the engagement with curiosity (or urgency). I respond by reminding them of our agreement and inviting the coachee to decide whether they’d like to share anything.

If a feedback loop is requested, I offer to support the coachee in preparing their own update to their manager. That way, the ownership stays with them—and the coaching relationship remains intact.

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

This is a high-stakes, emotionally charged space. Here are a few common traps coaches fall into—and how to steer clear of them:

Over-Identifying with the Employer’s Agenda

When the employer is footing the bill, it’s easy to feel pressure to produce results on their terms. But remember: the coachee is your client. Your job is not to “fix” them, it’s to hold space for their growth.

Leaking Confidentiality (Even Subtly)

Even small updates like “They’re doing well” can undermine trust. Be rigorous. Hold your client’s confidence fully, unless consent has been given in writing or in session.

Being Neutral When Advocacy is Needed

Sometimes, neutrality isn’t the right posture. If a client is being mistreated, gaslit, or held to an unfair standard, name it. Help them see the system clearly—not from a place of blame, but from a place of empowerment.

When It’s Done Well...

When coaching in this context is done with clarity, care, and courage, something remarkable happens. The client often begins to see the PIP not as a punishment, but as a mirror. An invitation to redefine who they are, what they stand for, and how they want to lead—whether it’s in this job or the next.

And in rare but powerful cases, the organization begins to shift too. Leaders start to see the value of psychological safety, the importance of compassionate feedback, and the limits of punitive performance culture.

Final Reflections for Coaches

If you’re coaching someone on a PIP—or considering stepping into this kind of work—here’s what I’d offer from my own experience:

• Lead with clarity. Don’t assume the client or employer understands coaching the way you do. Define it clearly and set expectations early.

• Protect the coaching relationship fiercely. That trust is sacred. Don’t dilute it.

• Focus on self-leadership. You’re not here to rescue or repair. You’re here to reflect, reveal, and remind them of their own power.

Because ultimately, this work isn’t about saving someone’s job—it’s about helping them return to themselves, even in systems that can’t always see their wholeness.

Want more insights like this?
If you're a leader navigating complex dynamics in your work and want to root your practice in truth, love, and consciousness, you’re in the right place. Join my mailing list through www.agoracoach.com.

Let’s build a coaching and leadership culture where integrity and transformation go hand in hand.